Season 8: Finale...The Climb

Well, Season 8 has almost come to a close. We ended up with the guy everyone knew would make it to the finale and the guy nobody guessed would ever make it (literally, NOBODY guessed that Kris would be the winner). Personally, I felt disappointed by Season 8. It seems like we had a lack of dynamic personalities among the Top 13 this season...nobody laughed, nobody really cried that much...there were a few annoying characters, but there really wasn't that "connection" (to employ a grossly over-used Idol term here) with the contestants as we have had in the past. Does anyone remember seeing David Cook moved to tears last season after his performance during Mariah Carey week? Or Carly Smithson finally giving the performance we all knew she was capable of with Broadway week, only to be sent packing the next night? This season to me was so mild, so emotionless, and so.....boring. I'm not sure if I can stomach another one...unless, of course, another David Cook comes along, or maybe an Allison Iraheta for next season. We'll just have to wait and see what Season 9 has in store for Idol, I suppose.

Adam - Mad World. Adam chose to don a vampire coat and then proceeded to make wide-eyed creepy vampire eyes at us through the camera during this performance. I thought his vocals sounded good, although this encore performance lacked the "moment" that his original had. This performance was way over-the-top as far as the drama was concerned. The fog machines and the pandering to the cameras was overkill for me (for you). Rating: 8


Kris - Ain't No Sunshine. Kris, on the other hand, chose to sit behind the piano and give a performance that was more earnest, more emotional and more raw than his first try. I think he had an absolutely stellar performance this time, and rather than relying on theatrics, he allowed his musicality to shine. Rating: 9

Adam - A Change is Gonna Come. I think this song was a very good choice for Adam. It allowed him to scale things back a little and to sing in his lower register, which, according to my calculations, we have heard a total of once this entire season. Adam's voice sounded incredible with this performance. If you closed your eyes while he was singing, you would have thought it was a large woman in a gospel choir. I don't know if that would generally be taken as a compliment, but I definitely mean it in the highest regard. Rating: 9

Kris - What's Goin' On. I am playing the SABOTAGE card here with Simon Fuller's choice for Kris! It is not fair in the least for the American Idol people to require Kris to sing a politically-themed anti-war song, considering Kris's roots (the Church, and the South) and his fan base. That was a low-blow, Idol people. I can't say that I'm surprised, though. Kris did not seem like he connected to this song as much as his last song, but he still did his job and performed the song well. I think Kris's vocals sounded great, but he lacked the charisma Adam had with his song on this round. And why in the world did Randy critique Kris for this song choice? Do the judges listen at all to what's going on around them (please do not think there was an intended pun there..it's not my style)? Rating: 8

No Boundaries - This year's coronation song happens to share a name with a clothing and accessories brand carried in Wal-Mart stores. Funny, both the brand and the song (and its writer) are generic, cheap, and about a decade behind. And the lyrics to this song sound eerily similar to a Hannah Montana song (the only reason I know the Hannah Montana song is because it has been on the VH1 Top 20 Video Countdown which I watch every Saturday morning when I wake up earlier than I wanted to). I would encourage you to listen to the Hannah Montana song "The Climb" and then listen to "No Boundaries"..if your stomach can handle that much cheese in one sitting. I'm telling you, Kara should be arrested for plagiarism. On a positive note, though, at least this year's coronation song contains no magic rainbows on the horizon.

Adam - This song is so clearly not Adam's cup of tea. His voice did not sound right singing those lyrics. He hit some bad notes and fell behind the tempo of the song a little bit. It was one of Adam's weakest performances of the season in my mind. Rating: 6

Kris - Kris also hit some bum notes in his performance, and he got a little screamy toward the end. I don't know if the song was in the right key or the wrong key or what, but I think he flubbed a couple of lyrics, too. I do think, though, that Kris sounded much more natural with this song than Adam did. Rating: 7

Here are some bonus questions for you (one question for each of the Top 13--even Gokey)....once again, you will receive bonus points based on how quickly you answer the questions:

1. How many times during tonight's show did someone use the phrase "dark horse"?
2. Who originally sang this year's goodbye song "Home Sweet Home" which was performed by
Carrie Underwood tonight?
3. What season 7 finalist was shown in the audience of tonight's show?
4. What happened to Paula's hair?
5. What did Adam's parents say he didn't do until he was 18 months old?
6. How much did Kris charge his parents to sing for them when he was a kid?
7. How many times did Randy say "Check it out"?
8. How many times did Kara say "artist"?
9. How many times did Paula stand up while she was talking?
10.How many times did Simon say "look"?
11.How many times did someone say "True to yourself"?
12.How many times did someone say "American Idol"?
13.How many times did someone say "iTunes"?

Season 8: Final Three...It's Not Over

I am so over American Idol right now that it's not even funny....blasted American Idol Pool! If it wasn't for all of my millions of adoring fans and followers I would have officially given up on Idol for this season. But alas, the masses demand my American Idol attention, and so like Seacrest, I will continue to be here like a lovable and loyal puppy....with a great tan.

The Final 3 episode of each season of American Idol has always consisted of ample footage of hometown visits complete with screaming girls, elementary school teachers receiving flowers, and contestants tearing up with sentimentality for their respective hometown crowds. However, season 8 brought on the addition of yet another blabber mouth judge who says everything and nothing all at once. And the addition of more talky talky means the exclusion of the heart-warming first glimpse of stardom we have all grown to love. In previous seasons, the final 3 episode also included 3 performances by each contestant. But I suppose America must want to see more of Simon and Paula playing patty cake while Randy examines his cardigan sweater and practices his "for me, for you's", and Kara screams at the top of her lungs like the baby sister nobody pays attention to...yeah, I'd rather see that than 3 extra performances.

Bonus Question: What landmark did American Idol reach with tonight's show?

Danny Gokey - Dance Little Sister. Has anyone heard this song before? I actually have a Terrence Trent D'Arby song on my iPod, his "Wishing Well" was one of my favorites as a child in the late 80s/early 90s. But I had never heard of this song. What a peculiar song choice. And Danny didn't disappoint us by shaving off his faux beard. I think he borrowed it from George Michael circa 1987, but it's not really about the beard, I suppose. Danny started the song sounding like a mountain lion devouring the lyrics of this inspirational/creepy ballad. After the angry growling portion of the song had subsided, Danny--in true Danny form--began to sound very screamy, and eventually evolved into a one-note wonder by the end. Woops! The camera guy dropped his camera...Danny must have startled him with his second consecutive week of skatting. And as if all of that wasn't enough, Danny delighted all of America once again with his incredible dance moves. He looked like a pigeon on the sidewalk searching for breadcrumbs (that statement says it all). I did not particularly enjoy this performance, or the obnoxious horn section that came along with it...but anything is a vast improvement over last week's "Dream On" catastrophic massacre. Rating: 6

And then the American viewing public was gifted with a wonderfully entertaining cat fight between Paula and Kara over whether Danny's dance moves were horrible or great. Kara was right on this one, guys...he sucked. However, in order to resolve the conflicts in this dysfunctional family, I think a good old-fashioned dance-off is required.

After the choreography fight between Paula and Kara, Danny's response was that "I am not an in-sync person". However, I would argue that he may not be an "in sync" person, but he is most definitely an "*NSYNC" person. He could have easily been the 6th member....he could have even replaced that Chris guy that nobody liked...

Kris Allen - Too Late to Pologize. Kris got to sing my least favorite song EVER tonight. First, of all, did anybody notice that Kris was wearing blue nail polish on his thumb during his hometown visit? Perhaps a mathematically and historically challenged judge who shall remain nameless has advised him to "dirty it up" a little....just a thought. I noticed during his visit to Arkansas that Kris had a southern accent....did he always have it and I just never realized? Or is this something that only comes over him when he's in his home state? I'm curious about this. Personally, I thought it was a smart decision for Kris to choose to accompany himself on the piano rather than working the stage. He needed to get back to his roots of doing a simple and understated performance. I thought Kris sounded very good during his performance of this horrendously annoying song (I liken it to leprosy). I did get a little bored, but it wasn't really Kris's fault that he had such a schlumpy song to work with. Rating: 7

I'm sorry, but I need to make a brief pause in the blog to inform you that I think these judges are so full of crap! I almost cussed them tonight (almost)...and I was watching by myself so I didn't have anyone with whom I could share my frustrations. It was tough.

Randy Jackson, in his infinite wisdom and never-ending vocabulary managed to give Kris a critique without ever giving him a rat's chance in a sewer to win. And then Kara completely threw Kris under the bus when she blamed him for not changing up the song SHE CHOSE! If I were a contestant on American Idol (and believe me, I've already won the show in my own mind), I would want to oblige the judges by performing the song they had spent copious hours and energy selecting specifically for me (translate: Randy and/or Kara had their personal assistant put their iPod on "shuffle" and chose the first song that came up). It would be important for me to stay true to the original since the judges are supposed to think that this particular song is one that fits into my own musical stylings and...dare I say, artistry.

In other news we all saw coming, the judging panel (as well as myself and the rest of America) has turned on Kara DioGuardi and her space-aged shoulder pads. They're gunning for her to leave. Except for Randy, of course, who is either oblivious to the soap opera unfolding before his very eyes (highly likely), or wants to keep Kara around because she parrots everything he says and (in his own mind) makes him seem like he has half an ounce of credibility.

Whew! This is gonna be a long blog tonight...sorry!

Bonus Question: Which ousted Season 8 contestant has been used all season in a commercial for AmericanIdol.com?

Adam Lambert - One. I'll be honest with you, my friends. I'm not much of a U2 buff. I like a few of their songs, but I wouldn't say I'm generally familiar with their catalog. I know this is one of their more popular songs, but I don't think I've ever heard it before. I did note, however, that Adam's double ear monitors made him look uncannily like Spock from Star Trek...or is it Spoc? Clearly, I'm not a Trekkie, either. I thought Adam sounded very good with this song, actually his voice sounded like a large woman singing in a gospel choir. That's a strange marriage between the look and the voice, but judging by the throngs of fans, I suppose it works for him. I was not digging the denim on denim ensemble he was donning for this performance, but I will say that Round 1 definitely went to Adam. Rating: 8

Bonus Question: Why did Adam encourage America to "rewind the tape" to listen to his performance of "One" again?

You know, I'm not a Mac person, but I really think those Mac vs. PC commercials are one of the most successful marketing campaigns ever! Those commercials are funny.

Hokey Pokey Gokey - You Are So Beautiful. How did I know that Danny was going to choose a sappy, inspirational ballad? Here is how Danny's first lyric sounded, "Hyou ahre soh bheautifuhl"...someone's been taking enunciation lessons from Ms. Iraheta, huh? She had a penchant for adding in a slew of extra h's to all of her songs....but America wrongly gave Allison the boot last week, and so I will not discuss her anymore (although, you will receive 10 extra bonus points if you answer one of your questions in the syling of Allison--by adding extra h's to your words--in honor of the woman who should have won). Just when I was getting ready to write "too much" in my notebook, I received an important phone call, and so my dedicated readers and Gokey fan(s), I will spare you--and him--my normal tongue lashing. It would not be fair for me to critique someone's performance if I didn't give them my attention to listen to it in the first place (although, Cowell does it and gets paid 36 million a season).

Bonus Question: How much money did Ryan Seacrest say Idol Gives Back has raise thus far?

Kris Allen: Heartless. What the?!?! Kris should receive the American Idol crown already just based on making the most daring and unpredictable song choice ever! When Kris started singing I was secretly crossing my fingers and hoping that he would not be using the dreaded AutoTune mic to sing his song (a la Kanye). I knew deep down inside of my soul that Kris would never dream of such a monstrosity, and my anxieties were eased as soon as Kris completed his first phrase. Wow. I didn't know what this song was actually supposed to sound like when someone, a human being with vocal cords, sang it. While I think Kanye's lyrical and remedial rhyming skills could use some assistance (see below), I felt like Kris did an amazing job with this song.

How could you be so cold?
As the winter wind when it breeze, yo
Just remember that you talkin' to me, though
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, though

Now, I could dissect this deep and thought-provoking lyric, and point out all of the illegal rhymes in this particular phrase, but I'm running short on time and long on blog, so I'm going to opt out. But please know that it bothers me to the fullest.

I think the acoustic guitar and the heartfelt vibe with which Kris interpreted this song were nothing short of brilliant. I've never been nuts over Kris throughout this entire season, but he made a fan of me tonight with that one performance. This performance was imaginative, inventive, and surprising. I hope it serves as a catalyst to bring Kris to the forefront of the competition now because he deserves it. I would even say that this is one of the best performances of all time on Idol. Rating: 10 (I'm not even sure I gave a "10" to David C. Cook last season for any of his performances).

Please allow me another brief pause to discuss the "weightedness" of this competition. First of all, Kara continued to defend her earlier statement about Kris's "Pologize" performance rather than giving him the credit he deserved for completely remaking that Kanye West song. And next, Ryan stood on the stage and gave Kris a handshake and told him, "It's been a great season"....are you bleeping kidding me? It was as if Ryan was already telling America that this would be Kris's last performance on the show. That is disgusting to me, and the Idol people should be ashamed of themselves. I'm wagging my proverbial finger at them right now (it's a proverbial finger because it's difficult to wag your real finger while you're typing).

Adam Lambert - Cryin'. I was fairly confident that Adam was going to choose either a Queen song or an Aerosmith song for tonight, I will say that I was leaning more toward Queen, but I did have several Aerosmith songs on my song predictions list. I thought the beginning of the song sounded great. Adam's voice sounds good when he's singing like a man (I realize this phrase might offend some people, but I've been typing for over an hour now and I don't honestly care at this point). I thought this performance from Adam was okay at best. I mean, yeah, he can perform the crap out of a song and entertain the masses. But I thought his voice got a little shrieky in some parts, and it was especially accented by that awful background vocalist they had working with him. She made my ears bleed. I thought this performance seemed ingenuine, really. Adam wasn't connected to the song, and he even messed up the lyrics at the end (only a true Aerosmith fan would have noticed this...especially if said Aerosmith fan uses iTunes in their office on a daily basis and although it's on "shuffle", it consistently plays the same songs every day and one of those songs is "Cryin'"). Rating: 7


In a perfect world, Adam would have been standing in Kris's shadow after that performance. But a perfect world we do not live in right now my friends, and Adam was treated with an extra dose of pimping from Simon Cowell. Now, please understand that I am fully aware that the judges are not providing actual opinions throughout the majority of the American Idol season. They are spoon fed various lines and quips and critiques to hand out to the contestants depending on the producers' desire about this contestant's fate. However, I think there should be an official rule against the judges blatantly urging America to vote for a specific contestant. That is stupid! Do we watch the show for the judges to tell us who we should vote for? Oh, I am mad now!

Bonus Question: Did Randy boo Simon at any point during Tuesday's show?

Just like last week, you will receive extra points depending on how quickly you answer the bonus questions. But please remember, that your answers don't count until you have answered all of the questions completely. Here is how the scoring will work:

1st person - 20 points
2nd person - 15 points
3rd person - 10 points
4th person - 5 points

Season 8: Rock Week...Another One Bites the Dust

Every season American Idol pretends to be cool for a week as they adopt a "rock" theme. We all as viewers of this wonderful show, know that American Idol is neither cool nor rock. But sometimes it's fun to pretend. I'm intrigued that Slash agreed to mentor on the show. It seems like Idol really isn't his thing.

Adam - Whole Lotta Love. I wonder if Adam has extra muscles in his neck from all of that pageant head flicking he does. I contend that if Adam was a girl, he would have been criticized for all of his pageant antics, but since he's a boy, he gets a free pass. I think Adam sounded good, relatively speaking. I still can't stand the sound of his voice, but I can appreciate that he has an expansive vocal range. This performance was still very theatrical, but I think I'm just going to have to get over that peeve because America seems to love their drama queens. Rating: 8

Allison - Cry Baby. I think Allison sounded really good with this song. The verses were a little boring for me, but she made up for that with the chorus. Allison is so earnest in her approach to a song. I always feel like she's putting everything she has into her performances. And I love watching her belt out those huge notes. Rating: 8

I am so sick of Allison being raked over the coals by the judges every week. They never criticize her singing...it's always her song choice or her outfits or her personality. It is so unfair that she can't be appreciated for her voice. And, you know what? I cheered when Allison stuck up for herself with the judges....somebody needed to say something to them. And if a 17 year old needs to bring them down, then so be it.

Pretty Cheesy Duet (This is a band name I made up for Kris & Danny)...you can guess which one is pretty and which one is cheesy. Renegade by Stix is one of my favorite songs ever. I have to commend Kris for taking on the rock theme and actually dressing the part. Danny, on the other hand, looked decidedly "unrock" with his red oxford shirt and the necklace he borrowed from either Paula Abdul or Mr. T. Sometimes I think he's the long lost third brother from the Night at the Roxbury sketches...but I digress. I think this performance could have been better. Kris's voice cracked a little...and no matter what the judges say, Danny was the one who messed up the harmonies...I'll go back and watch it again to prove myself right. That last harmony where Kris was singing the main part and Danny was singing higher...that was the worst part of the entire song because Danny was way off.

Kris - Come Together. I thought Kris would pick something by Boston or Bruce Springsteen. But I guess you can never go wrong with the Beatles..except for when the Idol people decided to do two consecutive weeks of Beatles songs last year. Woops! As Kris was singing I wrote, "He sounds good, but the judges aren't going to like it...karaoke." Personally, I think that Kris's voice isn't the quintessential "Rock" voice, and so anything he would have chosen tonight would have sounded original. I especially enjoyed the breakdown Kris did with the third verse of the song. I thought it sounded great. This week proved that Kris can hold his own in any genre. And while Kris may not have the biggest voice in the competition, he definitely does not have the weakest voice. And the judges should give him more credit for that. Rating: 8

Man, those judges were brutal to Kris! Kris looked pretty aggravated while they were critiquing him, and rightfully so. I wish for once that a judge would give some constructive criticism to a contestant, rather than pandering to them or making fun of them...oh yeah, or giggling with each other. They're gunning big time for Kris to go home this week. First, they put him in a duet with Gokey and then told Gokey he sounded better. And then they completely tore him apart on what I thought was an exceptionally entertaining performance. It's not fair!

D. Goke - Dream On. This song got Michael Johns booted from the show last season, so let's hope it's an omen. Everything about this performance was unnatural and forced. Danny took the stage looking like a deer in the headlights. I have never seen someone open his eyes so wide as he sang. And, excuse me, but was he really skatting in the middle of that song? I'm sorry, Goke, but Steven Tyler, you are not. And will someone please tell the kid that his rocker scream sounds like a car accident? I have to admit, I literally laughed out loud as Danny "sang" his last note. It was pathetic! After this week, Danny could give Lil Rounds a run for her money in the "they think they're better than they really are" department. Rating: 5

Glamitude (the name I made up for the Adam & Allison combo). Slow Ride by Foghat. A funny little story about Foghat. For the early part of my childhood, and really, until I was a young adult, I thought the band was called Zogbat due to an illegible font on the cover of a CD of theirs my dad had. I think Adam and Allison sounded good...they were much more natural than the other pairing. Adam and Allison did equally well on this performance. In fact, Allison had to hit higher notes for her typical range, so I would contend that she even outsang Lambert on this duet.

But not according to the judges! I could not believe when Simon told Adam he probably kept Allison in the competition by singing with her. That was the most incredibly rude, demeaning, and ludicrous thing he could have said at that moment. I really think the judges would have had the same response if Allison had just stood up there on the stage next to Adam and step-touched without even singing. I am officially incensed....and me and Simon, we are SO over! And then Adam, who is usually so poised and professional, had the audacity to say, "Yes, I hope I did save her!" Are you kidding me? Who does he think he is? Allison held her own up there, and I'm sick of them treating her like she is second-rate to everyone else on the show.

ARGHHHHH I am working on some deep breathing to try to calm myself down.

We're going to do the bonus questions a little differently this week. You will get extra points based on how soon you turn in your answers to the questions. The points will be distributed as follows:

1st person to hand in their answers gets 20 extra points.

2nd person - 15 points

3rd person - 10 points

4th person - 5 points

Bonus Questions:

1. Which of the judges and contestants wore sparkly or metal studded clothing?

2. Email me a COLOR photo of Slash with the following characteristics:

-no glasses, no hat, not wearing black, and no guitar in the picture.

3. For each of the songs performed tonight, tell me the year it was originally released and the original artist.

Currently Listening To: Another One Bites the Dust (Hopefully Gokey) by Queen

Fantasy Idol...A Chance for More Points

What if you were a contestant on American Idol Season 8? What songs would you choose each week? How would the judges rate your performances? Well, that's what this week's "extra credit" activity is: Pretend you are a contestant on American Idol's Season 8, and choose your song selections for each week (along with an explanation as to why you chose each song). Now, there are a couple of stipulations for the game:

1. Since this........ is AmERican Idol (you should read that in the voice of Ryan Seacrest), you cannot choose the same songs as any of your fellow contestants (including me). The American Idol producers would not allow the same song to be performed twice on the same episode...that would make for bad TV. So, you'll have an easier time picking songs if you get your answers in sooner.

2. You also may not choose any of the songs the "real" contestants have chosen for each episode. That would make this game too easy.

3. So, please select one song for the first eleven weeks in the competition (audition round through Top 3). For the finale (Top 2 Week), you will be performing 3 songs from the Nokia Theater stage....you must select 3 songs for the finale. You must make selections for every week...and explain why you chose that song. This activity is worth an extra 50 points!

Here are my picks:
Audition - Foolish Games by Jewel. I think this is just a pretty song that would sound good a capella for the auditions...plus, I don't know that I've ever heard someone sing it as an audition, so it would be original.

Top 36 - The Longest Time by Billy Joel. I think it would give me a dramatic edge to sing this song a capella from the stage...just the voices of me and my background singers, who would hopefully be having an "on" week.

Michael Jackson Week - Will You Be There. This is not a quintessential Michael Jackson song, but every time I hear it it brings back a rush of memories. This song is from the Free Willy soundtrack, and it's actually a really pretty song. I would employ a gospel choir to back me up on this performance. And I know Free Willy is a cheesy movie, but you have to admit that when that boy stood on the jetty with his arms in the air as the giant orca jumped over him and soaked him with water...you know at least a couple tears came down.

Grand Ole Opry Week - Crazy Dreams by Carrie Underwood. I just love the sound of this song and the content about playing air guitar, singing into a hairbrush, and being a dark horse is just too good to pass up. AND....since this is fantasy Idol, I would learn to play the banjo just for this performance.

Motown Week - If I Were Your Woman by Gladys Knight. I just think this is a powerful and soulful song...but it's sung from a place of desperation which would allow for some good emoting.

Top Downloads Week - Mercy by Duffy. I love this song and it's sassy and upbeat. And it's a Top Download.

Songs from the Year You Were Born - Hurt So Good by John Mellencamp. This song gets stuck in my head every time I hear it....hopefully that would help the viewers to remember my performance. The song has a little edge to it, but it's a crowd favorite that everyone loves to sing along to.

Idol @ the Movies Week - Kiss from a Rose by Seal. I love the dark mood that this song sets and I would love to do a cool interpretation of it. First, I have to figure out what in the heck the lyrics mean.

Disco Week - Young Hearts Run Free by Candi Stanton. I first heard this song in the Romeo + Juliet movie my freshman year of high school. I love it! It's another one that gets stuck in your head and just won't let go. I think that would be advantageous in this competition.

Rat Pack Standards Week - The Best is Yet to Come. Man, I love this song. I think it would maybe be a good omen that would send some votes my way. And I think it would be vocally challenging and would show my amazing precision when it comes to hitting all those notes (remember: "fantasy" idol).

Rock Week - Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin. This is probably one of the greatest rock songs of all time. And the real reason I want to sing it is because I want to kick the microphone stand down in the middle of my performance...that would be appropriate for this song.

Top 3 - Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack. I was born about 20 years too late because most of my favorite music is older stuff. I love this song. It was actually written based off of someone's reaction to hearing Don McClean perform American Pie. And I love that it's a song about music...that's a whole endless conundrum that gets all tangled up in my brain.

Top 2 - Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen. Queen is my favorite band ever, and this is one of my favorite songs ever...and it would allow for some sauntering and sass (Adam Lambert style). Somethin' to Talk About by Bonnie Raitt. I love the flirty attitude in this song and I think it would go over well at this stage in the competition. The Story by Brandi Carlile. This is not a very well known song, but Brandi Carlile is a very folksy singer with a very rocker voice. It's a beautiful song and I'd love to introduce America to it.

So, there you have it...Remember you can't choose the same songs as anybody else...so you should get your selections in sooner rather than later. Please post your picks in the comments section below this blog (the bottom of this particular blog...NOT the bottom of the page). If you can't figure out how to comment, please let me know and I'll walk you through it.

50 easy points could soon be yours!

Season 8: Rat Pack Week...

Well, does everyone have their pocket squares and fedoras in place? I've been so looking forward to Rat Pack week. I always love those old standards. Hopefully we'll see some sharp outfits and hear some smooth vocals tonight. I'm living blogging it tonight again, by the way. Sorry if we're a little scattered...

One Fedora, 3 nice suits, 1 cute dress, and some kind of glow in the dark ensemble from Mr. Lambert...just another day on Season 8 of American Idol.

I'm still waiting for my phone call requesting a guest appearance on American Idol. Who asked Jamie Foxx to mentor? First of all, he can't sing without the help of a computer, he's obnoxious...and he's been on the music scene for approximately 3 years. American Idol, at least I've been blogging about music for longer than 3 years! L to the A to the M to the E! I am more angry about Jamie Foxx's appearance than I was about Quentin Tarantino, I think. Was Michael Buble busy? He made a drunken Idol appearance a couple seasons ago....How about Rod Stewart, like Matt said? Or even that David Foster guy they always used to have on the show. Anyone but Jamie Foxx....seriously.

Really? This guy is the mentor? Really?

Bonus Question: How does Jamie Foxx tie in to the Rat Pack...at all? I'm not sure if there is a real answer to this question, but if anyone can find it, I'll give them bonus points!

Kris Allen - The Way You Look Tonight. Kris, do NOT take Jamie Foxx on his offer to make a record together...he will only pull you down! This is one of my favorite songs. It's an interesting juxtaposition to hear this song, which is usually sung with a growly, debonaire voice, sung with Kris's tender and unassuming vocal quality. A lot of people will probably say this performance was a little boring, and maybe it didn't have a lot of flash. But I think Kris's voice is one of the only ones in the competition that can carry him all the way through a performance without having to rely on dancing around or shocking people. I love Kris! Rating: 9

Allison Iraheta - Someone to Watch Over Me. I think Allison looks beautiful tonight. Her dress is gorgeous and her hair is so sleek. She looks all grown up...I don't know if that will help her get the votes she deserves, but she's sure trying. I can't figure out what America wants from her. I think maybe some folks are put off because she looks and sounds so much older than she really is. Maybe next week (if she's still here) she should take the stage in pig tails and a Hello Kitty T-shirt. Hey, I can understand Allison's lyrics tonight! Maybe that's her problem..she should just sing slower songs. Allison's voice suits this style just as much as it does her typical rock choices. I think this performance was surprising and beautiful. Rating: 8

Can someone please drop kick Randy out of the theater? I cringe at the very first utterance from his mouth, which is usually a "Yo", followed by another "Yo" and then another one.

Matt Giraud - My Funny Valentine. I feel like m0re than anyone else this week, this is Matt's chance to shine or fall on his face. I REALLY wish he would have played the piano for this song. Why didn't he? Oh, he must be planning on doing the get up from the stool mid-song thing. His voice sounds nice. Maybe he should have chosen a song that would have shown off more personality and swagger...I don't know. This sounds pretty good...all i can think of, though, is Melinda Doolittle's incredible Season 6 performance of this song. He's not doing his typical over the top falsetto thing this week which is nice. Subtlety is a trick he hasn't necessarily mastered, but he's doing a good job of reining it in this week. That was a very nice performance. I think that was one of his best vocals...but it was kind of a boring song choice. Rating: 8

Danny Goofy - Come Rain, or Come Shine. I LOVE coming up with new names for this guy each week. In fact, it's the ONLY thing about him that I look forward to (that's for you, Amanda). Oh, Danny's not going to change up his song? There's a SHOCKER! Has he changed up ANY of his songs this ENTIRE season? That would be a big, fat, resounding NO. I use A LOT of CAPS when I'm talking about Danny. Actually, now that he's singing, I will say this is one of Danny's better perfrmances. It's still incredibly cheesy. Forget what I said earlier...he just started screaming at me again. The reserved part was good...the screaming part was well, screamy. Rating: 7 And, that is SUPER annoying to scream out THANK YOU over the crowd's applause. And, in case anyone was wondering, there were 11 hand gestures caught by the camera during Danny's performance. However, due to the fact that he clung to the mic stand Daughtry style through the big part of his performance, Danny did not hit himself in the chest one single time this week. So...there's something positive (again, that's for you, Amanda).

Adam Lambert - Feeling Good. Everybody needs to get their Blue Blockers in order to be able to view Adam's performance...that suit is ridiculously bright! I don't think Adam will be "knocking my head off" like Jamie Foxx said. I would have preferred for the contestants to stick to the original arrangements of these standards...that's why they're called standards. But I'll give Adam the benefit of the doubt and let him do his thing. I think he said, "I'm feelin' could" instead of "good", but I could be wrong. I honestly don't think Adam did well with this song. The vocal styling didn't seem to fit with the song. And he botched that high note at the end. Probably one of my least favorite Lambert performances along with Ring of Fire, and definitely the weakest performance of the night, but nobody else in America will agree with me. Rating: 6

Currently Listening To: Come by Me by Harry Connick, Jr.

Season 8: Disco Week...Young Hearts Run Free

Disclaimer: I'm "live" blogging tonight (which means nothing more than I'm typing all of this as I watch the show)...so you'll have to forgive the disconnected thoughts. Just pretend I'm sitting next to you on the couch interjecting my proverbial two cents throughout all of the performances...because that's exactly what I'm doing in real life, even though I'm watching it alone. And in honor of the live blog tonight, I'm going to sum up every contestant's performance with two words. Find it in each person's paragraph, after the rating.

Lil - I'm Every Woman. Well, Lil has finally "jumped the shark" as they say in television when someone has taken a leap in the direction of the end of their tenure. She is relying totally on sex appeal now to keep her on the show. The producers are clearly done with her, based on the fact that she sang first and the judges completely reamed what I thought was a semi-decent performance (when you consider the performer, of course). At least Lil showed some life behind her eyes. She wasn't some robot singing a song this week. Lil did hit some nails-on-the-chalkboard notes during the bridge of the song, but other than that I thought it was a decent performance (again, by Lil's standards). Rating: 6 Two Words: Cat Suit

I finally figured out who Kris Allen reminds me of: The Mac Guy (Justin Long)...he looks vaguely like him, but their speaking voices sound just alike. Does anyone else agree?

Kris - She Works Hard for the Money. Ooooo, what a nice acoustic arrangement! I think Kris's version of this obnoxious song was great. Although, I do wonder if it's cheating to not really do a disco song on disco night? Oh well, I'm willing to let that slide for Kris. I Love, love loved this performance. Eek! There was a little voice crack in there, but I think America will be forgiving. Rating: 9 Two words: Refreshing, Endearing

Bonus Question: What crazy critique did Paula give to Kris?

Danny - September. Hey, did Danny just growl? I've never heard him do that before (insert eye roll here). I guess I'll give him a little credit for choosing an upbeat song, although I don't know how many ballads there are in Disco, so the odds were already in his favor. I still think his voice sounds strained. Why does he look so angry? I just don't get the craze, I guess. Danny is one of the only performers who hasn't really developed over the course of the season, in my opinion. He could have performed this song just as well in week one. Rating: 7 Two Words: Scruffy McScreamerson

Kara said to Danny, "Your pitch is so right on"...really, Kara? Danny has hit his fair share of bad notes this season...I don't know who she's trying to fool.

Allison - Hot Stuff. I love how she started off so slow and sultry. I think it's awesome that she was able to turn this disco dance song into a rock ballad. I'm not sure her outfit is appropriate for a 16 year old, but I'm not her mother I guess. That part when she sang hot, hot, hot, hot stuuuuff...that was so cool. Very nice ending. I think this was one of Allison's best performances. Rating: 9 Two Words: Should Win

Bonus Question: Randy told Allison, "You always prove my point." What is his point? I realize that this is probably one of the most difficult bonus questions of the season because I am asking you to make sense out of something Randy said.

Adam Lambert being swallowed by the sea of blonde girls. That was incredibly creepy. Much to my chagrin, the Twilight hairdo is back again. Some other people on the blog circuit have been calling it Jimmy Neutron hair. That's probably more appropro, but I came up with the Twilight thing myself, so I'll stick with it.

If Adam isn't careful, he's going to end up looking more like Ed Grimley

Adam Lambert - If I Can't Have You. You gotta hand it to the guy, he's the most charming and comfortable of all of the contestants. He's poised. This performance sounds very similar to his Mad World and Tracks of my Tears performances. He's wearing a ring from the Paula Abdul line of overexaggerated guady jewelry. I don't think it was brilliant. Some of the screeching was excessive. Adam is getting boring for me (and America takes a collective gasp!). Every other week he does a ballad and then follows it up with an upbeat number. Who wants to take bets that he'll sing a shrieky uptempo rock song next week? I'm holding Adam to a higher standard than the rest of them because he is so poised and professional. And does anybody have a mailing address for him because I'd really like to send him an inhaler so he can get that asthmatic breathing of his under control. Rating: 8 Two Words: Overrated, Sparkly

Paula told Adam, "I never question my visceral response to your performance." What the?

Ryan's bad joke of the night: You were melting her into a "Pool of Abdul" ROFLLOLLMAO!! That Seacrest knows how to deliver a pun, let me tell ya.

Matt - Stayin' Alive. Oh Geez. I'm not sure he should have chosen that song, but we'll see what happens with it. Ryan's teaser certainly didn't do anything to help a brother out. "We'll see if Matt's song can keep him staying alive" And then he said it again when they came back from break. It looks like the almighty producers have already decided Matt's fate as well. No fair!

Nice soulful arrangement. I'm glad the kids are taking liberties with the songs this week. Nice moves! haha. I hope he doesn't fall into trying to be the reincarnation of Timberlake because that's not who he is. I think his voice sounds good. He seems to have some swagger back, and a little soul. Jammin with the background singers. Ran out of breath at the end a little bit there, and had a couple of bad notes...I just wish he wouldn't try to do so much with every note he sings. Rating: 8 Two Words: More Please!

Wow..these judges are full of the backhanded compliments for Matt tonight! They're the ones who saved him last week. Kara told him his performance wasn't as good as Adam's. And then Paula said he chooses songs like she bowls. Somebody give the kid a break already.

Anoop - Dim All the Lights. Nice scruffy look...and suit. Anoop is a little bit sexy tonight. Tried to get the audience clapping off beat...woops. I'm glad this disco song commands people to "turn up the old victrola". I may not have been born yet, but I'm fairly certain that victrolas were already antiques when disco came on the scene. Anoop's voice sounds good tonight, and his confidence is nice. But I think another boring ballad is going to do him in. I'm not sure, but this might be the end for Anoop. Especially after that ending flub. Rating: 7

Did Ryan really just compliment Anoop on his eyebrows?! Two Words: Inevitable Departure.

The Cowell has spoken. Anoop must go. Why does that guy think that his word is final on everything? He gets on my nerves!

As a sidenote, I'm a little nervous about my newfound favorite. I decided to start voting for Matt this week in an effort to try to keep him around a little longer. In the Year of the David my voting practice was to vote for David the Cook, and to keep voting for said David until I got a busy signal. I tried the same thing tonight, but it took me at least 12 phone calls before I got the busy signal. This is not boding well for Mr. Giraud and the Soul Patrol 2.0.

As another sidenote, I don't know how many of my readers also watch The Biggest Loser, but I hate Ron! What a backstabbing conniving jerk...and he's teaching his son to play like that! Poor Kristen...I really wanted her to win. Now it's Go Felipe!!

Bonus Questions:

1. How many times did the judges allude to contestants staying on the show longer? Note: I'm only looking for how many times they said someone would be around longer...so when Simon told Lil she was going home tomorrow, that doesn't count.

2. Which contestant made a heart symbol with their hands, rather than throwing up their dial numbers?

3. Who did Simon say was coming into this week as an underdog?

4: Where did the saying "Jump the Shark" originate?

Currently Listening To: Young Hearts Run Free by Candi Staton

Season 8: Idol at the Movies Week...525,600 minutes (or, how do you measure an episode of American Idol with boring songs)

Where do I sign up to be a mentor on American Idol because, the way I figure, Quentin Tarantino and I have about the same qualifications...and he's already been asked twice! Tonight's episode seemed incredibly long and drawn out to me, and I didn't even watch the commercials. Hopefully next week will present a better theme.

Bonus Question: Why does Paula always look like a former figure skater who just can't let that dream go?

Allison Iraheta - Don't Want To Miss a Thing. I had an epiphany tonight: Allison's initials are the same as the initials of American Idol! I wonder if that means something. I love Allison. Her spunk and her soul seem to light up the screen when she's on stage. But tonight's performance of this Aerosmith song started out shaky and ended up even worse. I will say, she got better during the chorus, but there were some definite pitch problems. Allison could have (and should have) chosen a better song. All in all, I would say this was a Gokey-caliber performance, so I'll give her the same score I usually give him....7.

By the way, I have discovered that Simon Cowell reads my blog....and I have it recorded on VHS as evidence. When Allison finished singing, Paula commended her by telling her that she possessed the same "special sauce" as Adam (that is a strange compliment, but I will have to let that one go this time because there's a more important matter at hand). Simon then commented that he believed the "sauce" Paula was referring to must have been Barbecque sauce because Allison's voice was smoky and spicy. Now, please read this quote from my blog just last week:

Her voice sounded like a good barbecque sauce...really sweet and smoky with this song.

Now, I know many people will say that this is merely a coincidence, but come on! How often does someone compare a voice to Barbecque sauce? Simon, I'll be expecting my royalty check in the mail...and thanks for reading!

Anoop Desai- Everything I Do. Man, I love this song. I can remember David Cook singing it during his Hollywood audition last season. I rushed right over to iTunes and bought Bryan Adams' version of the song because I remembered what a beautiful song it was. Nobody can write a love song like Bryan Adams. Here's a word of advice for Anoop: don't take singing advice from Quentin Tarantino. His recommendation for Anoop to punch in those words "DIE", "LIE", "DIE"...that might work for Kill Bill, but it's not what the song is about...whatever Quentin. I'm probably just jealous that you've been on AI twice, and I haven't even sat in the audience. Anoop's delivery of the song was nice. He took a couple of liberties (especially in that letterman jacket/sport coat thing he was wearing). But the overall effect of the song was still boring. Sorry, Anoop...this wasn't it, either. Rating: 7

Adam Lambert - Born to be Wild. Here's a word of advice for Adam: Rockstars don't skip! Adam seriously skipped out to the front of the stage at the beginning of his performance. Unfortunately, Adam's singing was just what I would expect from him. Good in parts and shrill in others. And he's still doing that asthmatic breathing thing...it annoys me so much! Adam should have been in a 1980's hair band...that's his schtick. So when people say that Adam is bringing something new and different to the table, I'm going to point them in the direction of Poison and Motley Crue...Here's my prediction, in 20 years, Adam will have his own reality show on VH1 called "Shriek of Love". Adam's performance was decent, I suppose, although that ending run was way over the top. Rating: 7

Matt Giraud - Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman. Another beautiful Bryan Adams song, and this one makes us think of a Spanish accented Johnny Depp, what could be better? I liked the beginning of Matt's performance when it was just him and the piano. It was beautiful and tender and different from the original. And then when Matt switched things up by adding in the band and made it a more rocked-out version, his voice faltered a little, but the arrangement was still good. And I don't think the judges gave him enough credit for what he did. I made an observation about Matt this week...he is sort of this season's Carly Smithson. If you'll remember from last season, Carly was the one who the judges (especially Simon) loved from the beginning. But she took the competition so seriously, and her mind was constantly focused on pleasing the judges (especially Simon), that she never really looked like she was having fun. The same is true for Matt. He always talks about the judges' responses to his performances. It's like he's constantly trying to figure out how to give the judges what they want. He rarely smiles, and often looks like he's in pain while he's singing. He will only be successful with this competition when he realizes that the judges' opinions are as irrelevant as they could possibly be. When he starts having fun and loosens up is when the judges will take notice and start complimenting him. It's a shame that it has to happen like that. Rating: 7

This is the point in the program where Cheesefest 2009 began.

Danny Gokey - Endless Love. (The following sentence should be read in the voice of Chandler Bing.) Could Danny BE more cheesy? I'll be honest, Danny got a big eye roll out of me when he announced his song for this week. He sounded pretty bad at the beginning of the song, but he seemed to pull it together around the "it's the second verse so it's time to stand up dramatically and wave my arms as I sing" part. I'm pretty sure Danny would be rendered unable to sing if someone were to tie his hands behind his back. He's worse than Mariah Carey. Danny did sing a more subtle song, but he still did his tired old provolone moves. And he hit some pretty bad notes in there, too. Rating: 6
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In Danny's defense, though, there were a couple of things wrong with the judging tonight:

1. For the past couple of weeks, the judges have tried to bait Danny into talking about his sad story...I wish they would give it a rest. And I am very glad Danny has stopped discussing his personal tragedy. His motives were questionable at the beginning of the show, but I think now he's significantly toned it down, and I commend him for that.


2. Simon gave one of the dumbest critiques I've ever heard tonight. He told Danny that since David Cook took Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" and changed it up completely last season, that Danny should never have sung Lionel Ritchie's "Endless Love" so close to the original version. That is absurd! Does this mean that nobody on American Idol should ever sing a Bon Jovi song unless they beatbox to it like Blake Lewis did in Season 6? Or that nobody can ever sing a Dolly Parton song unless they "dirty it up" like Michael Johns did last year? Simon, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and since I now know that you read my blog, I would like for you, on Wednesday's episode, to apologize to Danny for such a nonsense critique!


Kris Allen- Falling Slowly. I had never heard this song, that I can remember. The lyrics were a little sharp cheddar for my taste, but Kris seemed like he really meant what he was singing. He always connects emotionally to the songs he's singing. It's a special talent, and I think a lot of people don't realize how important that is. I think Kris had a couple of problems with some of his lower notes tonight, and man, that background singer sounded awful with this voice. She was so shrill, it made my ears bleed. In spite of those snags, though, I really thought Kris gave a very pretty, very pleasant performance. Probably the best of the night, in my opinion. Rating: 8


Lil Rounds - The Rose. There is only one song in history that is cheesier than "Endless Love"...it's "The Rose". Now, don't get me wrong...I love a good Bette Midler tear jerker, but not with my American Idol, thank you. I can't quite figure out Lil. I can't understand her game play strategy in the competition, but I've narrowed it down to two possible options: Either she thinks she's a really, really talented singer but the rest of America knows she's not, or she knows she's wavering, but wants to try to fool America into thinking she's good by overcompensating. Either way, Lil is fighting a losing battle. Her vocals were not good tonight...at all. Lil's bad notes far outnumbered her good ones, and she still fails to convey any feeling with the songs she sings. She could be singing about killing puppies with the same inflections and nobody would know the difference. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, she massacred that ending note of hers. Rating: 5


And now for a couple of bonus questions:

1. What was different about the American Idol stage on Tuesday's episode?

2. Ryan did NOT call Randy which of the following:
a. Congenial b. Vibrant c. Dawg d. Yellow-striped.

3. Ryan called Kara which of the following:
a. Talented b. Provocative c. Beautiful d. Commercial

4. Ryan called Paula which of the following:
a. Hot b. Entertaining c. Radiant d. Unpredictable

5. Ryan did NOT call Simon which of the following:
a. Obnoxious b. Legendary c. His Majesty d. Sir

6. How many times were the words "for me" or "for you" spoken during the critiques of the contestants?
Reminder: Randy critiqued less than half of the contestants tonight.
Reminder: Kara is the judges' table resident parrot this season, and her "for me's" and "for you's" count toward the total, too.
Reminder: Each "For me" and "For you" is counted separately, so if someone said, "For me, for you," that would count as two separate instances.
Reminder: Only 1 person will get the points for this activity. The person who guesses closest to the correct answer gets 15 points...nobody else gets any!!


And remember, there is a bonus question hidden in the body of the blog, too..don't forget to answer that one!

Currently Listening To: Seasons of Love from Rent




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