Bonus Question: Why does Paula always look like a former figure skater who just can't let that dream go?
Allison Iraheta - Don't Want To Miss a Thing. I had an epiphany tonight: Allison's initials are the same as the initials of American Idol! I wonder if that means something. I love Allison. Her spunk and her soul seem to light up the screen when she's on stage. But tonight's performance of this Aerosmith song started out shaky and ended up even worse. I will say, she got better during the chorus, but there were some definite pitch problems. Allison could have (and should have) chosen a better song. All in all, I would say this was a Gokey-caliber performance, so I'll give her the same score I usually give him....7.
By the way, I have discovered that Simon Cowell reads my blog....and I have it recorded on VHS as evidence. When Allison finished singing, Paula commended her by telling her that she possessed the same "special sauce" as Adam (that is a strange compliment, but I will have to let that one go this time because there's a more important matter at hand). Simon then commented that he believed the "sauce" Paula was referring to must have been Barbecque sauce because Allison's voice was smoky and spicy. Now, please read this quote from my blog just last week:
Her voice sounded like a good barbecque sauce...really sweet and smoky with this song.Now, I know many people will say that this is merely a coincidence, but come on! How often does someone compare a voice to Barbecque sauce? Simon, I'll be expecting my royalty check in the mail...and thanks for reading!
Anoop Desai- Everything I Do. Man, I love this song. I can remember David Cook singing it during his Hollywood audition last season. I rushed right over to iTunes and bought Bryan Adams' version of the song because I remembered what a beautiful song it was. Nobody can write a love song like Bryan Adams. Here's a word of advice for Anoop: don't take singing advice from Quentin Tarantino. His recommendation for Anoop to punch in those words "DIE", "LIE", "DIE"...that might work for Kill Bill, but it's not what the song is about...whatever Quentin. I'm probably just jealous that you've been on AI twice, and I haven't even sat in the audience. Anoop's delivery of the song was nice. He took a couple of liberties (especially in that letterman jacket/sport coat thing he was wearing). But the overall effect of the song was still boring. Sorry, Anoop...this wasn't it, either. Rating: 7
Adam Lambert - Born to be Wild. Here's a word of advice for Adam: Rockstars don't skip! Adam seriously skipped out to the front of the stage at the beginning of his performance. Unfortunately, Adam's singing was just what I would expect from him. Good in parts and shrill in others. And he's still doing that asthmatic breathing thing...it annoys me so much! Adam should have been in a 1980's hair band...that's his schtick. So when people say that Adam is bringing something new and different to the table, I'm going to point them in the direction of Poison and Motley Crue...Here's my prediction, in 20 years, Adam will have his own reality show on VH1 called "Shriek of Love". Adam's performance was decent, I suppose, although that ending run was way over the top. Rating: 7
Matt Giraud - Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman. Another beautiful Bryan Adams song, and this one makes us think of a Spanish accented Johnny Depp, what could be better? I liked the beginning of Matt's performance when it was just him and the piano. It was beautiful and tender and different from the original. And then when Matt switched things up by adding in the band and made it a more rocked-out version, his voice faltered a little, but the arrangement was still good. And I don't think the judges gave him enough credit for what he did. I made an observation about Matt this week...he is sort of this season's Carly Smithson. If you'll remember from last season, Carly was the one who the judges (especially Simon) loved from the beginning. But she took the competition so seriously, and her mind was constantly focused on pleasing the judges (especially Simon), that she never really looked like she was having fun. The same is true for Matt. He always talks about the judges' responses to his performances. It's like he's constantly trying to figure out how to give the judges what they want. He rarely smiles, and often looks like he's in pain while he's singing. He will only be successful with this competition when he realizes that the judges' opinions are as irrelevant as they could possibly be. When he starts having fun and loosens up is when the judges will take notice and start complimenting him. It's a shame that it has to happen like that. Rating: 7
This is the point in the program where Cheesefest 2009 began.
Danny Gokey - Endless Love. (The following sentence should be read in the voice of Chandler Bing.) Could Danny BE more cheesy? I'll be honest, Danny got a big eye roll out of me when he announced his song for this week. He sounded pretty bad at the beginning of the song, but he seemed to pull it together around the "it's the second verse so it's time to stand up dramatically and wave my arms as I sing" part. I'm pretty sure Danny would be rendered unable to sing if someone were to tie his hands behind his back. He's worse than Mariah Carey. Danny did sing a more subtle song, but he still did his tired old provolone moves. And he hit some pretty bad notes in there, too. Rating: 6
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In Danny's defense, though, there were a couple of things wrong with the judging tonight:
1. For the past couple of weeks, the judges have tried to bait Danny into talking about his sad story...I wish they would give it a rest. And I am very glad Danny has stopped discussing his personal tragedy. His motives were questionable at the beginning of the show, but I think now he's significantly toned it down, and I commend him for that.
2. Simon gave one of the dumbest critiques I've ever heard tonight. He told Danny that since David Cook took Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" and changed it up completely last season, that Danny should never have sung Lionel Ritchie's "Endless Love" so close to the original version. That is absurd! Does this mean that nobody on American Idol should ever sing a Bon Jovi song unless they beatbox to it like Blake Lewis did in Season 6? Or that nobody can ever sing a Dolly Parton song unless they "dirty it up" like Michael Johns did last year? Simon, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and since I now know that you read my blog, I would like for you, on Wednesday's episode, to apologize to Danny for such a nonsense critique!
Kris Allen- Falling Slowly. I had never heard this song, that I can remember. The lyrics were a little sharp cheddar for my taste, but Kris seemed like he really meant what he was singing. He always connects emotionally to the songs he's singing. It's a special talent, and I think a lot of people don't realize how important that is. I think Kris had a couple of problems with some of his lower notes tonight, and man, that background singer sounded awful with this voice. She was so shrill, it made my ears bleed. In spite of those snags, though, I really thought Kris gave a very pretty, very pleasant performance. Probably the best of the night, in my opinion. Rating: 8
Lil Rounds - The Rose. There is only one song in history that is cheesier than "Endless Love"...it's "The Rose". Now, don't get me wrong...I love a good Bette Midler tear jerker, but not with my American Idol, thank you. I can't quite figure out Lil. I can't understand her game play strategy in the competition, but I've narrowed it down to two possible options: Either she thinks she's a really, really talented singer but the rest of America knows she's not, or she knows she's wavering, but wants to try to fool America into thinking she's good by overcompensating. Either way, Lil is fighting a losing battle. Her vocals were not good tonight...at all. Lil's bad notes far outnumbered her good ones, and she still fails to convey any feeling with the songs she sings. She could be singing about killing puppies with the same inflections and nobody would know the difference. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, she massacred that ending note of hers. Rating: 5
And now for a couple of bonus questions:
1. What was different about the American Idol stage on Tuesday's episode?
2. Ryan did NOT call Randy which of the following:
a. Congenial b. Vibrant c. Dawg d. Yellow-striped.
3. Ryan called Kara which of the following:
a. Talented b. Provocative c. Beautiful d. Commercial
4. Ryan called Paula which of the following:
a. Hot b. Entertaining c. Radiant d. Unpredictable
5. Ryan did NOT call Simon which of the following:
a. Obnoxious b. Legendary c. His Majesty d. Sir
6. How many times were the words "for me" or "for you" spoken during the critiques of the contestants?
Reminder: Randy critiqued less than half of the contestants tonight.
Reminder: Kara is the judges' table resident parrot this season, and her "for me's" and "for you's" count toward the total, too.
Reminder: Each "For me" and "For you" is counted separately, so if someone said, "For me, for you," that would count as two separate instances.
Reminder: Only 1 person will get the points for this activity. The person who guesses closest to the correct answer gets 15 points...nobody else gets any!!
And remember, there is a bonus question hidden in the body of the blog, too..don't forget to answer that one!
Currently Listening To: Seasons of Love from Rent
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